To forbid - occupation not from pleasant. How to achieve that ban was a little, but they would be effective? Here some desirable principles:
1. Unambiguity
Children perceive words more literally, than adults. Besides, they are extremely sensitive to a so-called nonverbal component of the speech: to our intonations and mimicry, namely they first of all give out any falseness. That is why they often appear much more acutely than adults.
2. Consistency
The ban shouldn't contradict other ban. Remember that you in the answer for each ban which observance you demand. Than it is more than ban, and than they are sillier, smaller force they possess that.
The ban shouldn't contradict common sense. Never you tell something it seems: "It is impossible to shout" or "Never touch my things". It is impossible to observe such rules, and to demand their observance - madness.
3. Clarity
The ban has to be clear to the child. To children is more senior an intelligible explanation of all ban is necessary, differently they will apprehend them as an insult and approach to freedom of their personality. Especially it concerns that ban on which health and life of the child depend. In itself such ban is unevident, and to demonstrate to the child that will be if a ban to break, you can't.
4. Sequence
Solve for a start where that limit beyond which your forces come to an end lies. It is impossible to be consecutive if to forbid the child everything: you will very quickly be tired and you will wave on all a hand. That you could adhere to times of the got rules and call the child to order, a ban shouldn't be much, but that is, shouldn't be broken, and you have to be consecutive in it.
Children approximately till 3 years perceive any ban as something directly connected with the identity of the parent. Therefore they often also break well-known to them a ban, only you left the room. And the only thing that remains to you is, having returned, to repeat them again and again.
5. Solidarity of both parents
When the father and mother agree with each other in the main questions, the child receives from them a consistent picture of the world, and grows self-assured and people around. If the father tells one, and mother - another, the child is compelled to connect somehow in the right mind parental messages. It is able to do it at the price of the internal conflict and "will please both", or - to choose that to it is more to liking, and to manipulate parents in the interests.
6. Hardness
Let's the peanut exhaust then behave, indifferently. Insisting on the, try not to be angry, especially - don't try to behave "vindictively". Simply do that you consider it necessary. If the kid is upset, regret him. If you let to it know that it, having poured out on you the anger, made something awful, you will force it to feel guilty, and it is excess emotional freight which the child shouldn't to bear at all. After all his anger was sincere: he very much wanted still a pie, only and everything, after all children adore the sweet
7. Honesty
You see things really. Before "to issue the new decree", realize why you do it. Everyone newly-baked you will lock - a new small trauma for the kid.
The child all the being feels your true motives even if yet doesn't realize it.
8. Respect for motives of an act
Always try to get up on a position of the child and to understand why he made this or that offense.
Justifying motive of the child, you allow it to accept a ban - with understanding, and punishment - with advantage. The kid isn't so bad, but he made a bad act. If you confuse for yourselves these two things, you will let know to the child that he isn't worthy your love. To punish, without humiliating, those fathers and mothers who didn't allow manage and think that the child made "crime" intentionally.
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